Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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