So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize