One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
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Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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