I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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