i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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