saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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