Is it because I queefed?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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