you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize