I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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