Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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