Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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