i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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