I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize