i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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