we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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