ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize