i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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