We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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