My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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