Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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