I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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