omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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