Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize