I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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