ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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