remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize