hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize