...so i touched it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize