apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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