yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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