then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize