You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Two words: nipple clamps
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