I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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