The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she was so not down for the gang bang
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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