You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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