i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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