I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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