Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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