I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
did you just send me my own nude
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize