One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize