Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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