Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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