It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize