You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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