You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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