I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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