I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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