take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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