The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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