dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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